I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
