My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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