just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
