One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
