Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
