She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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