Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
