ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
