I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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