She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
