...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
