After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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