This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
