In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
