she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
