last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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