I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
