Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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