So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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