my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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