Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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