We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
