Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
