Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
