Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
