you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
