and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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