I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
