we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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