thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She is in my trunk
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
