The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
