My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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