just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
