Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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