if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
