can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
