You smell like a Billy Joel song
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
