I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
