The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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