Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
