Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize