she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequila makes me forget i have legs
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize