I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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