Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
