i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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