I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
