Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I am mentally ready for anal.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
