Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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