no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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