i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
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