John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
