u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize