walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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