you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
