today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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