fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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