Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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