so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
