Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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