I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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