When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize