I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
