I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
