Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
