Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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