so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Randomize
