Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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