He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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