omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
