We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
