Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
even my farts smell like vagina
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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