we made out on top of his cat.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
